Our problem with trying to explain ourselves is that we tend to call attention to our own goodness rather than admit our human error.  We make ourselves the hero of every situation, and that tends to make others look bad.  It is rather ironic that in our attempt to project a perfect image of ourselves, our imperfections are glaringly revealed.  In feeling the need to interpret our awkward actions and to define our hasty words, we are prone to rationalize our sins.  Insecurity about who we are all but eliminates confession because we lack the courage to admit our own mistakes.

To live defensively is to live a self-centered life.  Apology and forgiveness are not products of a hungry ego.  It is a matter of grace that we can humbly accept our humanity.  We learn to relax in His love, and that frees us to accept life's misunderstandings.  We no longer need to impress anyone because we find our fulfillment in Him.  By keeping our eyes on Jesus, the focus is outward instead of inward.  We can "fail forward" as we trust others to forgive our trespasses even as we forgive theirs.  To monitor our mistakes without needless explanation enables us to practice grace toward ourselves and toward others.  Augustine was on target when he prayed, "O Lord, deliver me from the lust of always wanting to vindicate myself."  Sorrow for sin is acceptable.  Defending our iniquity is deplorable.